Wow. I actually don’t even know where to begin this week besides did anyone else notice the weather in the Bahamas looked, oh I don’t know, TERRIFYING.
Seriously, your girl would’ve been on the first plane back home. Anyway, while were on the topic of terrifying things, yes I’m talking about you Olivia, let’s get to dissecting the obscene amount of drama that occurred on last night’s episode.
In the continuation of last week’s episode, Ben and Olivia continue their one on one conversation which involves Olivia telling Ben that the other girls “like painting each other’s nails, and doing each other’s hair” like those are not the most normal things to do when you’re stuck in a house for weeks on end with no outside communication…
Guys, Olivia likes to “talk smart” and she really “likes, like thinking.” Goodness, she’s so profound y’all.
Yeah Ben, sames.
In the biggest un-spoiler alert throughout this whole season, Olivia stays and during the final rose ceremony part 1 (because yes, there’s 2 this week), Jennifer goes home.
To be honest, when my friends who missed last night’s episode were asking me how many girls left last night, I said 3…but it was really 4 because sorry Jennifer, much like your impression on Ben, you clearly didn’t make much of an impression on me either, because I forgot all about you getting the boot.
The next day, we find out that
Catherine Giudici Caila gets another 1 on 1 with Ben which sends Leah into a tailspin because she hasn’t gotten any 1 on 1 time with Ben.
That face you make when you realize your boyfriend has 8 other girlfriends.
In what was inarguably the most baffling 10 minutes in television history, Caila drops the L bomb on Ben, then kind of takes it back, and then just continues to talk in circles for the rest of the date. Caila says she “felt like she confused the crap out of Ben,” but little does she know, she also confused the crap out of the rest of America, but alas, she gets a rose anyway.
My exact facial expression during this entire 1 on 1.
In between, the dreaded 2 on 1 date is also announced with remaining twin (still can’t tell them apart and the other one isn’t even on the show anymore), and Olivia as the participants. Lucky girls. The remaining girls get to go on a group date and swim with pigs. I’m not joking. Is it just me or does it seem like the producers are really scraping the bottom of the barrel for group date ideas this season?
Per usual, Queen Becca, is the only one who has a normal reaction. When she said, “I didn’t know I was scared of pigs until today,” she summed up what everyone else was feeling watching this go down.
Then in the most shocking turn of events, Leah, in her insecurity fueled rage about not having enough 1 on 1 time with Ben, throws Lauren B under the bus!! Did anyone see that coming? What’s even worse is that when Lauren B is crying to the girls, Leah acts clueless and denies saying anything.
Girl, it’s bad enough you lied, but the whole world just witness you do it. Bye Leah. Meanwhile, during this exchange I was mostly obsessing over Becca’s ear cuff.
Girl, give me all your style secrets.
Later, Leah attempts the one move that has literally never worked out well for anyone in the history of the Bachelor…sneaking over to Ben’s place to “talk.”
Leah continues to dig her own grave by talking more smack about Lauren B, which made Ben send her packing. This recap is about to get deep, because here’s an important life lesson for all you ladies, talking badly about another girl will never, ever make you look like the better person. Ever.
Now the moment we’ve all been waiting for, the 2 on 1, which included the most awkward van ride ever.
Then Ben and the ladies take a boat ride where I wish I could have handed them both a ponytail holder.
Seriously, this was a source of major anxiety for me watching their hair fly around… almost as much as the awkward tension between the three of them…or when Olivia also dropped the L bomb and talked about how “grounded” she was. It was all too much. In the most
well thought out production ploy dramatic 2 on 1 date in Bachelor history, OLIVIA GETS SENT HOME.
Bachelor fans everywhere REJOICE. I wonder how long production made her stand alone here for…
Cut to Ben standing contemplatively on the edge of the cliff announcing he cancelled the cocktail party. You know there’s been drama when the cocktail party gets cancelled. The horror.
Seriously, what is it with this show and making people stand near the edge of the cliff? Did we not learn our lesson last season with poor Cupcake?!
In the final rose ceremony part 2, the sad news is that Lauren H. was sent home, which tear, because I really liked her a lot. The great news is that Olivia is gone, and that’s all that really matters. I think Justin Bieber accurately sums up how I feel now that from here on out, all Bachelor episodes will be Olivia free..
Seriously though, the previews were SO DRAMATIC. Sorry, I sound like Chris Harrison now. I can’t wait for the rest of the season! What did you think of last night’s episode?