The good news is, I finally picked my mouth up off the floor long enough to actually write this recap. The bad news is, all the craziness that happened on last night’s The Bachelor actually happened. What else did we expect from an episode involving the Fantasy Suite? Let’s get to recapping.
After a 10 minute montage of everyone’s feelings about their “journey” and an even longer commercial break (why are there so many commercials though?!), the first up on the overnight dates in Jamaica is Caila. Yay…
Ben said from the start of their date, Caila wasn’t being herself. Has she ever really been herself though? This led to their river raft ride filled with uncomfortable silence…
…and then awkwardly mulling over jerk chicken in the middle of the forest.
The two break for dinner, and we come back to the 1st of many shameless Sandals promotional plugs. Kind of like #AllDayBreakfast, but a little more subtle.
Caila drops the L bomb again, but for real this time you guys, because she can feel it when she and Ben “take a deep breath together…” whatever that means. I need a translator just for the phrases Caila uses on this show.
Spoiler alert, Ben does not reciprocate the same feelings, but they still spend the night in the fantasy suite together, and there are fireworks. No literally, there are. Burning question, how much of the production budget do you think is spent on fireworks?
Moving onto Lauren B. Her date was my favorite for one reason and one reason only…
The real MVPs of this entire episode were these little guys, and if Ben and baby turtles didn’t make your heart melt in a puddle on the ground…you might not have one.
Like Lauren’s hometown date, I don’t have to much to say about this date either. Except for when Lauren finally tells Ben she loves him, and he says it back! Game changer…and to nobody’s surprise, we witness Fantasy Suite Round 2.
My second burning question of this show is who writes all the cards with this impeccably neat handwriting? My guess is not on Chris Harrison…
Surprisingly, Ben is not scarred by his hometown incident with JoJo’s brothers, because she has made it to the overnight date portion of the show. I, however, am still scarred.
This image is forever burned into my brain.
JoJo is the lucky recipient of this season’s waterfall date
This is where she tells Ben she loves him, and he ALSO says it back. Do you sense the problem here…? Side note, I just don’t understand how these girls have fallen in love so quickly…I can’t even get my dating act together in this amount of time.
Nonetheless, this admission of love makes Ben 3/3 for the Fantasy Suite dates this season. Now that we know Ben is in love with Lauren and JoJo, what does this mean for Caila? Don’t you worry, Caila has a
crazy plan romantic surprise up her sleeve.
First she sneaks in and creeps around in the house where he’s staying…
Then she does what every girl should do to the guy she loves that’s sitting alone in a foreign country…
Ben asks her to give him a second to compose his thoughts because you know, he was just thinking about breaking up with her, and now she’s right there. In the end, Caila’s surprise wasn’t enough and Ben sends her home in her weird sports bra/cotton skirt combo. Well, he tries to send her off and she jumps out of the car to ask why he broke up with her before she really leaves.
I did feel badly for Caila. Nobody deserves to have their heart broken, I just don’t really think she was ready for marriage.
By the time the Rose Ceremony hit I was just SO HAPPY to see Chris Harrison.
Where has he been this entire season?! It’s like he’s just had it after 20 seasons and he only wants to be contractually obligated to appear on 2 minutes of each show. C’mon I know we’re getting down to the end, but I still need my “this is the final rose” reminder CH.
And then there were two…plus Ben…who is in love with both which made for the most cringeworthy Rose Ceremony group hug of all time.
Sooooo unless The Bachelor has suddenly turned into an episode of Sister Wives, Ben cannot pick two girls to propose to. He better put those turtle digging skills he learned with Lauren to use real quick in order to dig himself out of this hole he’s gotten himself into…
Can’t wait for the Women Tell All next week! Also, stay tuned for a special guest post from the BlondeSideBestie tomorrow on the blog.